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January2008
Prince of Peace Children and Families Ministry |
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Setting the “Right” Goals For the New Year…
While the idea of New Year’s resolutions seems to be an adult activity, developing plans to reach a goal is an important part of life for all ages, especially when it comes to children. Helping a child to develop a plan to meet goals builds a foundation that will carry the child into adulthood with an understanding of how life works. In addition the process of reaching goals can lead to a healthier lifestyle and improved self-esteem. To really jump start the kids’ new year during the holidays take some time to develop a plan, keeping these things in mind:
Monitor progress. There are two methods of monitoring progress with kids. The first one is referred to as conferencing. Periodically do this with your child, in a safe environment, away from normal distractions. Go out for ice cream or breakfast and talk about how they are doing (and feeling) about their goals. Conferencing is great for building stronger relationships with kids which should be the ultimate goal for every parent. The other method involves making a checklist for completing tasks needed to achieve the goal. A checklist places the child in control which helps develop personal initiative. Be flexible. Keep in mind that setbacks will happen. Don’t allow your kid (or you) to get discouraged and give up. Use setbacks as teaching opportunities. Adults understand failure does happen. Kids need to learn that setbacks are a part of life, but they should never become a way of life. Believe in your child (and yourself). Stay positive about the progress. Remember that parenting is a process. Unfortunately parents tend to judge the outcome too early. This results in pressure being felt by the entire family to “fix the problem.” Relax, and don’t make raising your kids another task to be crossed off your to-do list. Celebrate! Acknowledging achievement, even the smallest ones, is a great motivation for kids. Since kids are by nature geared for instant gratification, they often lose focus of the overall goal. Celebrating the achievement of steps is as important as offering a reward when the overall goal is met.
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Ask God: 1. To help you make the best goals for you and for your family this year. 2. To help you change your priorities if needed in order to reach the goals that He has impressed on your heart. 3. To teach your child about goals and how to set and meet them. 4. To make this year one that is rich in spiritual growth for you and your child. |
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Healthy Parenting… As children strive to meet goals, it’s normal for them to experience some self-doubt. Creating an environment of unconditional love will help. In his book, Relational Parenting, author, Ross Campbell, shares the seven basic tenements to remember when parenting.
Don’t Forget . . . 1. They are children. 2. They will tend to act like children. 3. Much childish behavior is unpleasant. 4. If I do my part as a parent and love them, despite their childish behavior, they will be able to mature. 5. If I love them only when they please me, they will not feel genuinely loved. 6. If I love them unconditionally, they will feel good about themselves. 7. If I love them only when they meet my expectations, they will feel incompetent.
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